Move to Denmark

You may not have noticed, but this blog has been inactive for some time. Since around the time it became apparent that Bernie Sanders was out of contention for the Democratic Party presidential nomination. It was no longer as relevant to consider whether the Danish “socialism” Sanders favored could be transplanted in the United States. But even before that, it was mainly speculation. There was never a real possibility that it could displace the pseudo–free market of American society. That prospect was unrealistic economically, politically and culturally.

It’s still worthwhile to make the thought experiment, but we may need to take a different perspective. If you’re sympathetic to the egalitarian ethos or curious about living in a society that fosters greater happiness and life satisfaction, then don’t wait around for the US to reform itself or its plutocracy to share the wealth with the bottom 80 percent. No matter which one of those two cretins wins the election next week, things are unlikely to get any better. On the contrary, expect a recession, another financial crisis, increasing civil unrest. . . .

Just do it

So just move here. That’s right, simply emigrate to Denmark or somewhere similar. Need to hear the reasons again? Universal healthcare. Paid maternity, paternity and medical leave. Five weeks’ paid vacation. Subsidized day care. Free college. Stipends for study. Unemployment benefits for graduating. Few guns, little crime. . . . Leave all that xenophobia, identity politics, runaway militarism and high infant mortality behind. But not everyone all it once, please.

Is it really possible, though? Can you just drop by as if on vacation and land a job? You can’t just hang out here indefinitely unless you’re from another EU country (see if you can get hold of a Romanian passport). For an extended stay, you need a work and residence permit. But some succeed in finding a job while visiting and using it to expedite their application.

Engineers welcome

Denmark has an official policy of encouraging well-educated persons to immigrate that is similar to the US visa program for skilled professionals. There’s a surprising number of Indian doctors working at hospitals in Jutland, for example. Industry associations regularly decry the lack of native STEM graduates. There are also eastern European carpenters, prostitutes and other tradesfolk, although they’re from the EU and can move in and out freely according to demand.

The policy doesn’t always work as advertised, however. Some people with advanced degrees arrive and find that Danish employers prefer Danish credentials, but “Western” immigrants are viewed much more favorably than others and aren’t considered a threat to worsen the country’s integration problems.

Be a global citizen

So, if you’re resourceful and persistent, yes, it’s possible to find a job. The hiring process at large companies can be drawn out and frustrating, but you can do a lot of exploring and preparation online before you come here because Denmark prides itself on its extensive digitalization. There are several guides and services to help: Expat in Denmark, Life in Denmark, Work in Denmark and New in Denmark.

If you can survive until you get an income and a residence permit, then you’re entitled to all the same social benefits as Danish citizens. And if you don’t use certain benefits, then after several years you can apply for Danish citizenship. The rules on that and the difficulty of the citizenship test can change significantly whenever the government switches between the right- and the left-wing coalitions, but the Danish Parliament just recently passed a law allowing dual citizenship. That means you can always bail if America collapses under the weight of its empire and apartments in San Francisco suddenly become affordable.

Capeesh?

But don’t they speak a foreign language here, you may be wondering, and doesn’t that pose a bit of a problem? Not as much as you’d expect. Danes are about the most fluent ESL speakers around, and they like to show it off. There are jobs at international companies that don’t require Danish, particularly in tech, biotech, finance and shipping. A small country needs to export. In industries with labor shortages, broken English is the lingua franca of globalization. Some expats have been here for years without speaking Danish. It’s certainly advisable to learn the language, though, in order to immerse fully yourself in the happiest society.

That reminds me not to omit the simplest way to emigrate and enjoy all the benefits of the country: marry a Dane. While it facilitates integration greatly, of course it entails certain obligations. A lesson for another day, but I’m sure there’s also an app for that.